More tranny stories later!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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