I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
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Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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