SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize