if you like me you must not know who I am
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We're too hungover to prance.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize