CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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