I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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