Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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