I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize