someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize