Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize