Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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