Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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