I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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