oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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