is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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