It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
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I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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