nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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