In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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