I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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