How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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