do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize