I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize