i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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