Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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