Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak

(1-323): View more from California

I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole

(1-323): View more from California

She's blonde

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(323): Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak (1-323): I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole (1-323): She's blonde http://tfl.nu/vvom

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(212): View more from New York

Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK

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(212): Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK http://tfl.nu/7q0x

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(949): View more from California

Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?

(619): View more from California

hahahahahahahahahahaha

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(949): Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth? (619): hahahahahahahahahahaha http://tfl.nu/hwol

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(913): View more from Kansas

Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

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(913): Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy. (1-913): You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you. http://tfl.nu/j71x

Replies (26) Good night (2342) Bad night (423)
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(850): View more from Florida

The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.

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(850): The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad. http://tfl.nu/dk8u

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(815): View more from Illinois

im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine

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(815): im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine http://tfl.nu/4lyn

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(541): View more from Oregon

Someone in a vagina costume on campus.

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(541): Someone in a vagina costume on campus. http://tfl.nu/klak

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.

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(605): Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever. http://tfl.nu/1cen

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.

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(307): I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it. http://tfl.nu/zamd

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(619): View more from California

Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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(619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv

Replies (5) Good night (383) Bad night (1852)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

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(781): If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us. http://tfl.nu/xpf1

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(847): View more from Illinois

We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.

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(847): We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude. http://tfl.nu/9etc

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.

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(201): Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together. http://tfl.nu/7gqm

Replies (18) Good night (1131) Bad night (386)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?

(301): View more from Maryland

Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.

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(443): Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers? (301): Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis. http://tfl.nu/hcxa

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.

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(403): "DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT. http://tfl.nu/hmpm

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