my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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