my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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