Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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