for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
this is an emotional support booty call
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