evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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