Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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