He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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