Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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