i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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