Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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