My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
two words: eviction party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize