We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
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How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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