I'm gonna have a badass scar
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize