And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
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Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up under a house in Key West
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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