Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
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the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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