you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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