.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize