it was like his penis was on wheels.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize