Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize