hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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