Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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