How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
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I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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