But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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