5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize