so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isnโt very good.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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